Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania

Its almost been 3 weeks and all very non-stop, five countries down and i am currently sitting in the Czech Republic after having said good bye to some of my friends who were on the road with me. I've come to the realisation that i am going to have to be far more careful with my money as is it seems to be going down quicker than mum's knickers on Father's Day. From here on out its me by my lonesome, and for some reason i cant get Celine Dion's epic love song, 'All by myself' out of my head...bring on dinner for one and kicking stones back to my hostel all alone...

I started off traveling with a mate, Will Nasson and together we've been trying to showcase the Australian and South African cultures to the Baltic and Polish people. For Will it seems to be all very easy and when telling folk that he's an "Austraaalian" he receives exclamations of surprise, respect even admiration, when i follow suit with, 'Hi I'm a South African" blank faces and grunts of disbelief, even disgust follow, one guy even spat at my feet! South Africa just doesn't seem have the draw and appeal of the Steve Urwin's and Crocodile Dundee's of this world...

We kicked off in Estonia, and mother of God the rumors were true... The women that line the streets, bars and clubs all resemble something from a cover of Vogue and for some reason they are ALL like that, we started to think they must root out any women that aren't physiologically perfect and hide them in some cordoned off area away from the public eye, clever chaps wish we knew how to do that. We spent 3 nights in Tallinn trying desperately to dodge the rain, and the ever present stag groups that mob the town, Tallinn is picturesque and charming, but still overshadowed by the women and their beauty - well done God.

From there we visited Parnu, a popular beach resort with Estonians, a description of our time spent here wouldn't do it justice and only the words, sun, sea, cocktails and Estonians in beachwear will suffice...

Riga, Latvia - an amazing city that i would have loved to have visited 4 - 5 years ago as it has sadly been connected by yet another plethora of budget airlines. It is now littered with tourists, stag groups and locals who resent foreigners and bask in ripping them off. Remind me to thank Stelios and his Easy Jet empire next time i see him. We left Latvia shortly after, wanting to get a taste of the slightly less visited Lithuania.

We decided to get off the beaten track and head to the coast of Lithuania to a place called Palanga. Having heard it was a good spot to practice our Lithuanian on young, unsuspecting local women it would also then give us the very rare opportunity to be able to don the ever shunned Banana Hammock (Marble Sack, Sausage Sling, Ouch Pouch, Miami Meat Tent, Speedo, etc etc) without the fear of being arrested or stoned. I mean when else would we get the chance...?? Conclusion great place, try the Veal.

Into Vilnius - Lithuania's, beautiful, stylish and friendly capital city. It has all the markings of Tallinn and Riga yet none of the horrible let downs. I loved it, we all loved it. Our team of two, grew to three as Beau, another Aussie mate, met up with us. We spent 4 great nights, taking in the sights, hitting the turps and charming the pants of the locals (or so we thought)

We decided to head into Poland by bus and try and get to the Great Maurisian Lakes (a task that on the map seemed like a cake walk but in reality was harder than Hugh Hefner on a 4 day Viagra binge). The overnight bus was pure joy...and here is where i tell you all I sat next to the tall, blond, lonely, Polish farm girl who wanted to learn English in return for naughty favours...alas this was not the case. I landed up next to her Grandmother, who had a face that could make Dulux's, 'Wall and All Enamel' crack after a fresh coat. She had a fabulously ugly appearance that I almost congratulated her on and would have were it not for the language barrier.

Anyway the night continued with the rather lovely old lady consistently feeding me with boiled sweets that tasted mildly of an Old Spice and Mentadent P fusion of flavour. At scheduled intervals she would slyly nudge me and pass me over another handful. I dare not refuse, but when she started to wake me on the hour, every hour for my allotted dose of the boiled delicacy i started to wonder if anyone would miss her should she not make it to Poland...

To break the monotony of a blog that is probably only still being read by my parents I'll leave it here and update you shortly on the adventures of Poland, my buzz cut hairstyle, and men who constantly look at you like you've just fondled their baby sister - Poland, what a place.